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Monday, November 13, 2006


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maybe i having all those
arhg-not-so-crazy-happy-day
shit-ass-arh-you
what-do-you-want
you-driving-me-nuts
i-rather-be-left-alone
and other weird and crazy stuff in my head
and those moody day

all thank to my dad
i watch some philosophy programe
abt what might have changes a child
mind setting and behavior
maybe that why i got thoses
in my head and when ppl say me
i wld say that to them
i cant control them..
"u have to control the stuff,not the stuff control you"
yeah this quote i know but its simply not easy

maybe all his words hurt me so much
that cause i have very low self confident,self esteem
and wo de "zi zun xin" is way too bottom till cannot go bottom anymore
ahh...u have cause a very big mess in the house now
why are you always saying those hurtful things to me
but when i say the same thing to sister
you say she is your sister why u treat her like that..
HELLO? i'm your daughter too...
are you having favouriteism ??
you know for the last pass 13 years
i always tellling myself how lucky i am to have u as dad
but...u change the impression of you to me
even mum say u are weird..
i really hope to cry in front of you when u say those hurtful things to me
and sometime i even wanted to shout
"knn shut up ur mouth lahx..i have enough of u"
this to u..but time and time i told myself
i cant do this ,i beening dis respect to you..

u made me dont love you 100%anymore
u only make me love u at 30% now.. :[
i wonder if i told mum ur dirty little secert
comfrim there will be a break in the house.
and that i will choose mum than you..
although if i go with mum
mean hard work
i go with u i enjoy all the luxury..
i rather go hardwork and prove to you rather than
enjoying..
hard work give me satifaction althought most of the time it suckx.

i really thinking and thinking the past 2 days
and maybe just maybe i came up an answer..
i stay drifted to you..
i only reply you or talk to you when u talk to me
or i need your signature, or smthing which need to be done.
cause you change me became like that




SHERMINE
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Monday, November 13, 2006